


Branjie Try Out Their Rapping Skills

by orphan_account



Category: Keeping Up with the Kardashians RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: "STOP TALKING LIKE GOTTMIKS PARIS HILTON", F/F, F/M, I digress - Freeform, Multi, Rap, Vanjie is a narcissist, carlos is hereeeee, coochie - Freeform, damn this got sad, everybody hates Brooke, hmhmmm yessssss, hmmhmmmm i don't wannaaaa, i digress further, i want water now, i've been talking like Mik lately and everyone is getting annoyed, kinda like real life, kindaa like real life, my mom is like, oh my god that is sooooo cute, ok end of tags enjoy the story bye hoe, oop there i go again, poor Brooke, rap battle, rapping, yesss that's delishhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 07:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Vanjie and Brooke are resting on a peaceful Saturday when- huhhhhh! Travis and Kylie and the squad come over for fun times!
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Gottmik/Kandy Muse, Kylie Jenner/Travis Scott, Tina Burner/Utica Queen, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova, Violet Chachki/Pearl Liaison
Kudos: 1





	Branjie Try Out Their Rapping Skills

**Author's Note:**

> i wish i was Jose like LITERALLY??? i just wanna be him if i woke up as him tomorrow i'd be the happiest person in the entire universe he is so perfect in every way and ugh yeah

Vanjie woke up to Brooke singing.

"GOOD MORNINGGG STARSHIIIINE THE WORLD IS YOUUURRRSSSS!!!" Vanjie groaned and threw a shoe at Brooke.

"Ouch! What's your proooblem, eh?!" She said in a singing voice and Vanjie threw the other shoe, hitting her right in the mouth and knocking a few tooths out. (We don't say t e e t h in this house see I can't even type the full word like that one story that was like c r o s s [no way I'm spelling that word])

"Vanj!!" She said, blood pouring out of her over filled lip injection ass lips.

"You best stop singing or I'm finna knock them other tooths out." Brooke grimaced and grabbed her tooths and swallowed them. Hehe, they'd be in her poop later. Vanjie got up and stretched and took a shower and brushed her fully intact tooths.

"You're not getting drag todeh?" Vanjie shrugged.

"We not doin nothin special." Brooke nodded. UNTIL!!! Ding dongggg!

"I wonder who that could be, eh?" Brooke dashed downstairs and opened it.

"Vanj, come downstairs!" She yelled and Vanjie scoffed.

"What do you- OMG HEYYYYY!!!" VANJIE RAN OVER oops I was in caps Vanjie ran over to Kylie and Travis and gave them hugs.

"What y'all doing here?" She asked them with a big smile on her face. What a bitch, Brooke thought.

"We was wondering if y'all wanted to rap with us," Travis said and Kylie nodded.

"Everyone is else is busy and you guys are out last option so are you available?" Ouch, Brooke though. Rude.

"Yeah of course!" The power couple smiled and they all hopped in the whip and skrrted off to the studio. Once they got there, they hopped out the frog (leap) and walked in.

"Yooo whassup homehhhhhs?!" Brooke said when she saw their friends there and everyone cringed. Vanjie elbowed her in the side and Brooke winced in pain. Poooor Brooke.

"Sooo are you guys ready to get it on?" Trixie asked and Brooke and Vanjie nodded.

"Travis, you're up first." Gigi said and handed Travis headphones.

"Woo, made this here with all the ice on in the booth  
At the gate outside, when they pull up, they get me loose  
Yeah, Jump Out boys, that's Nike boys, hoppin' out coupes  
This shit way too big, when we pull up give me the loot  
(Gimme the loot!)  
Was off the Remy, had a Papoose  
Had to hit my old town to duck the news  
Two-four hour lockdown, we made no moves  
Now it's 4AM and I'm back up poppin' with the crew  
I just landed in, Chase B mixes pop like Jamba Juice  
Different colored chains, think my jeweler really sellin' fruits  
And they chokin', man, know the crackers wish it was a noose" Everyone but Vanjie cheered and clapped.

"Very cool, Travis! Kylie, you're next."

"Slept through the flight, ayy  
Knocked for the night, ayy, 767, man  
This shit got double bedroom, man  
I still got scores to settle, man  
I crept down the block (down the block), made a right (yeah, right)  
Cut the lights (yeah, what?), paid the price (yeah)  
Homies think it's sweet (nah, nah), it's on sight (yeah, what?)  
Nothin' nice (yeah), baguettes in my ice (aww, man)  
Jesus Christ (yeah), checks over stripes (yeah)  
That's what I like (yeah), that's what we like (yeah)  
Lost my respect, you not a threat  
When I shoot my shot, that shit wetty like I'm Sheck (bitch!)  
See the shots that I took (ayy), wet like I'm Book (ayy)  
Wet like I'm Lizzie, I be spinnin' Valley  
Circle blocks 'til I'm dizzy (yeah, what?)  
Like where is he? (Yeah, what?)  
No one seen him (yeah, yeah)  
I'm tryna clean 'em (yeah)" Everyone cheered again and Vanjie was fuming.

"Alright Brooke, you're next!" Brooke smiled and nodded and put on the headphones. Vanjie knew she had greasy hair and dandruff and lice so she was notttt putting those on. A sick ass beat played and Brooke got into the groove.

"Skrrrt, skrrt, Hytes on the beat  
Everybody tryna be me, they ain't seen me  
You know everybody hate me, actin like I'm an old tree  
Y'all ain't shit, keep actin tough and you gon get hit  
Queen of the north, put your best foot forth  
Y'all make fun of me when I say eh, but I'm the best at ballet  
Canadian bitch flew down south, keep talkin you gon get shot in the mouth  
Homies say I'm dumb, bruh I'm just numb  
Worked hard in my life, had a lot of strife  
Cut you like a knife, you know this shit is tight  
Okay, okay, I made your bitch my bae  
Imma get it, Imma get it, made your hoe wet  
Pull out a TEC and I be gettin that check  
Don't underestimate me hun, I got a scope on my gun" Everyone was silent.

"Umm... okay. Vanjieee your turn!" By this point, Vanjie was seething. Her raps were the BEST, how could anybody compare?!

"Aight, y'all get ready for dis, Vanjie, not Bambi  
I fucked ya girl then did a bicep curl  
Gucci on my feet, yeah I'm elite  
Prada all on my jeans, I love baked beans  
Ate that pussy like sushi, yeah getting that blue cheese" Everyone went WILD!!!

"Oh. Em. Gee!!! Vanj, you're the clear winner!" Vanjie rolled her eyes. Duh. Her bars were fire.

"Travis and Kylie, amazing job!!"

"What about me?" Brooke asked Crystal.

"Oh, you're still here?" Brooke nodded, awaiting praise.

"Ok. Vanjie, you've won a brand new Nintendo Switch and a copy of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe!" Vanjie smirked. Idiots, she should've won before even rapping. They went back to Vanjie's house and Kylie and Travis went back to theirs after they dropped the drag queens off.

"Brooke, set this up Imma go jerk off." Brooke nodded and heard moaning coming from the bathroom as she set up the Switch.

"Aight I busted a fat load. I wanna play now." Vanjie sat down and Brooke handed her a controller. They started up the game and of course, Vanjie won every single cup against Brooke.

"You suck lmao." Vanjie made Miis on the stupid fucking rip off no music ass Mii Channel THAT WASN'T EVEN A MII CHANNEL YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE SETTINGS TO GO THERE???? FUCKING DUMBASS HOES!!!! (I digress.) Brooke sighed.

"Make me a sandwich, I'm hungry."

"What kind would you like?" Vanjie let out a groan.

"WHAT DO I ALWAYS LIKE, B R O O K E ???" 

"Peanut butter and jelly on white bread with a glass of milk?"

"Y E S S S S S YOU DUMB CUNT NOW GO MAKE IT NOWWWWW!!!" Brooke sighed and got up and made Vanjie her favorite meal. She served it to her and Vanjie chowed down and gulped down the milk.

"Make me anotha."

"But-"

"MAKE me another or Imma beat yo ass, lil girl." Brooke nodded.

"Right away, sir."

"M ' A M !!!!" Brooke sighed yet again and made Vanjie her favorite meal again. She devoured it and threw the plate and cup across the room.

"Clean that up." Brooke nodded. She grabbed the shattered pieces of the glass, cutting her fingers in the process, and threw it out before putting the plate in the dishwasher. Brooke felt tears stinging at her eyes and she held her head in her hands.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away." Brooke started crying as she sang the song her mother sung to her as a child. When did her life become so bad? When did everyone start hating her? She trudged upstairs and heard Vanjie laughing.

"Oh shit, she back. Brooke, go cook dinner I'm hungry."

"But you just-"

"BUT I JUST NOTHING!!!! MAKE ME MAC N CHEESE OR YOU'RE ON THE STREETS!!!" A tear rolled down her cheek and she went downstairs and went out to the backyard,

"God? Are you there?" A shooting star flew across the sky and Brooke felt a little better.

"Please, please, make Vanjie love me again and please make my friends like me again. I have no one now that mom and dad are gone, and everyone hates me. Please make my life better, Lord." Another shooter star flew across the clear night sky and Brooke sighed. She went back inside and made stupid Vanjie her stupid dinner and brought it up to her.

"Here's your dinner, sweetheart."

"About damn time. Now go away." Brooke walked out of the room and shut the door, and as soon as she did, she fell to her knees and broke down in tears. Why was God doing this to her? Why?


End file.
